No Smiles?

Coding today, and I have some issues with unicode rendering in different browsers (mainly mobile), so I began trying to search for solutions, and if you ask google to find smiley faces, this happens:   Guess there aren’t any smiles around the world, and I shall set out to change this.  I also hear that there are competitions to see the lowest string length to generate zero and 1 result returned by Google.   Does this qualify for first place?  I will update once I get in contact with Google and see what we can get done.

jseko : jokes in no particular order

I originally posted this as “Jokes, in random order” to avoid giving the idea that one is/was better that the other.   Given that I am learning JS (JavaScript), I decided to write a snippet of code to determine the order of the jokes, and so I started with the word “jokes” to test the code.   The first successful scalable word/string and array scrambler made by me, produced j-seko, a word that sounds awesome when you are going to Mitch Hedberg someone.   Code is here below, followed by jokes, with better functionality and sortation as I write the code:
var string = prompt("String?");                 //Asks the User for a string to scramble
var stringArray = [];							    //stores the string in an array
var rArray = [];							    // an array with the string stored scrambled
var jArray = ["j1", "j2", "j3", "j4", "j5"];    // an Array of jokes
jArrayLength = jArray.length;                   // first jArray length
var newString = "";							    // string scrambled into a new string
var newJArray = [];                             //a scrambled array of jokes

function jokes() {
	for (var i = 0 ; i < string.length ; i++) {
	for (var j = 0 ; j < string.length ; j++) {
		var rndom = Math.floor(Math.random()*(stringArray.length));
		stringArray.splice(rndom, 1);
	for (var k = 0 ; k < rArray.length ; k++) {
		newString += rArray[k];
    for(var l = 0 ; l < jArrayLength ; l++) {
        var rndm = Math.floor(Math.random()*(jArray.length));

– What do you call an Alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator A: A snappy dresser – What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: BREATHE!! – What did the purple grape say to the green grape? A: Nothing, s/he couldn’t! – How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? A: Ten Tickles! – Why was 6 afraid 7? A: Because 7 8 9! A: Because 6 was a registered Six Offender. Why do we seagulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels! How do you make an egg roll? A: You push it? What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? A: Look Grandpa! No hands! – Roses are red, Violets are blue. Oh wait, no they’re not, They’re violet. – Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog. – Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am bad at rhyming, Refrigerator. – What is the difference between a blue fridge falling of a cliff, and a yellow one? A: The yellow one isn’t falling of a cliff A: The blue fridge is an appliance and the yellow one is a number – When is a door not a door? A: When it is a jar. – What is green and has four wheels? A: Grass, silly! I was just kidding about the wheels. *Requires a specific cadence to make authentic and appealing* – What is a pirate’s favorite letter (of the alphabet)? Typical response: “Rrrrrr” A: Oh you think it’s the Rrrrrr, but it’s really the Ceeeee. – What is the difference between a blue fridge falling of a cliff, and a yellow one? A: The yellow one isn’t falling of a cliff A: The blue fridge is an appliance and the yellow one is a number – Why did the baby cookie cry? A: Because his mother was a wafer so long. – What goes zzub zzub? A: A bee flying backwards – If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving’s not for you. – If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong. – At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog/cat that they are adopted? – At what age do you think it’s appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted? – Zach Galifianakis – Boycott shampoo! Demand the real poo! -Stephen Wright – Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. – A magician was driving down the road when suddenly he turned into a driveway. – Got any figs? Response: No? Reply: How about a date then? – I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters. – And then there was the agnostic dyslexic insomniac who stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog. – Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a cool opotamus? – Have you seen the elephant hiding? A: Of course not, he’s hiding. – Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things. – I entered 10 puns into a joke contest hoping one would win. No pun in ten did. – I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous. – Hedgehogs, why can’t they just share the hedge? – Venison’s dear isn’t it? – War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left. -What’s brown and sticky? A: A stick! – I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others. – Where does the three-legged horse live? A: In the unstable. – I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. – When is a lumberjack’s birthday? A: SepTIMBERRRRRRRR! – A one-armed guy goes to a 2nd-hand shop. – Two wrongs don’t make a right but three lefts do. – Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. A: Ba-dun TSSH – I farted in an elevator once, it was wrong on so many levels. – I saw a stationary store moves. – Politics. – “What’s up?” A: A two letter word. – I’m hardly ever wrong. Except this one time, when I thought I was wrong, but I was wrong. – The early bird may catch the worm, but it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese. – The advantage of easy origami is two-folded. – I know a great knock-knock joke, but you have to start. – Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have. – Steven Wright – A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bartender here?” – Saw a man in a field tending to a little more than 3 sheep. Thought to myself “shepherd’s pi”. – Portholes are round so that if they break, water doesn’t hit you square in the face. – Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: The heat was in tents! – If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it. – There’s no silent p in swimming. – I’m so bright my mom calls me “son”. – A rubber band pistol was confiscated in algebra class; it was a weapon of math disruption. *Requires a specific cadence to make authentic and appealing* – A 3-legged dog hops into a saloon and proclaims, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!” – My friends and I were playing poker with a giant set of cards. It was kind of a big deal. – Knock, knock. A: Come in! – “Did I already do my deja vu joke?” – Stewart Francis – Corduroy pillows….they’re making headlines all over the world. – I fought a bear with a knife once. The bear had the knife. – I used to play sports. Then I realized you could BUY trophies. Now I’m good at everything. – Demetri Martin – I didn’t like my haircut at first, but it’s growing on me. – “Snakes dont have arms, thats why they don’t wear vests.” – Toilet Stolen: Police have nothing to go on. – When I found out the toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked. – I needed a password with eight characters, so I chose Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. – Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them? – What is it about being blind, that makes you walk the dog all the time? – I have a cat in my pocket… Just kitten. – It’s a small world but I wouldn’t want to paint it. – Plate of spaghetti walks up to a bar, bartender says “we don’t serve food here.” – Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. – “If i had a dollar for every brain you didn’t have, I’d have one dollar” -squidword – Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “Do you know how to drive this thing?” – You’re going to have to start calling me “butter” because I’m on a roll. – what do you call someone who dosent fart in public? a private tooter – I used to work in a calendar factory but I got fired for taking a few days off. – I used to work in an orange juice factory but I got fired because I couldn’t concentrate. – A good pun is it’s own reword. – The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw. – What’s invisible and smells like a carrot? A: A rabbit’s toot. – I quit my job at the helium balloon factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone. – Two peanuts are walking down the street. One was a salted. – I have a CD Burner…my fireplace. – It’s one of those situations where you thought it was a booger, but it snot. – Cut that pizza into 4 slices… I’m not hungry enough to eat 6. – I used to play the trombone, but I’ve let it slide. – Where there’s a will, there are relatives. – A well done medium steak is rare. – Why did Snoop Dogg buy an umbrella? A: ForDrizzle – System.out.print(“Best one-liner”); – 1: Have you seen my henlay? 2: Whats a Henlay? 1: Eggs! – 1: Do you know where I can get some snoo? 2: What’s snoo? 1: Oh nothing much. What new with you? – 1: Have you seen my updog? 2: What is updog? 1: Oh nothing much. What new with you?